MOST SHOCKING: DESTROYED IN MINUTES

If you have read Vampire Dad: Episode 1 post, then you already understand that Dad usually doesn't drink. Last year my family and I went to a wedding and my distant uncles offered Dad some wine, and his response was, "I'm not old enough xD." I love how my family respects that my Dad doesn't drink, at all.

It wasn't until Sept 10 of this year that he broke his number one golden rule. Some dirtbag friend of his just persuaded him to drink and he was treating him. Dad just randomly picked up a Corona at the bar where he plays pool every night. Here's his post on Facebook: 

"hey Cynthia i just broke the no no rule at Kilowatts bar with one corona beer one of my best customer (Rudy) offer to buy me a drink and complain that i never say yes so i say o k but don't worry i still beat up people after that ." 

I will explain in details about Dad playing pool, but long story short, he's like a local popular guy in the bar because he beats the crap out of everyone at pool. Everyone's theory of why Dad beats everyone is because he doesn't drink. That dirtbag Rudy thought he would have a fair game with Dad if he drank...NOPE! Dad still beat Rudy's butt. WAY TO GO DAD! When Dad came home and told me what happened, here's how I responded: 

"Dear Ruby, 

You better hope I don't fudgin find you!! If I find you I'm going to break your arms and legs, shove nail polish down your throat, set your sorry butt on fire and leave you in the Bayview projects !! HOW DARE YOU PRESSURE MY DAD TO DRINK!!! HOW DARE YOU MAKE HIM BREAK HIS 50 YEAR CARDINAL RULE!! Gentlemen, time to form the angry mob!!! 

I need to go back to the bar with Dad and bring a whacking stick!"

I'll admit that I was being a bit too violent about this. But, man, I was pretty darn angry about this. When Dad left to go to the bar the next day, he said, "I'll show Rudy your picture." I replied, "GOOD! TELL HIM I BETTER NOT FIND HIM."

Rudy, if you are reading this, I won't actually try to hunt you down and hurt you, but if I do happen to go to Kilowatt and you push another beer on Dad, I will just call the police for forcing someone to drink or however it's put into legal terms. 

Let me stress this, Dad never drank any alcohol for the decades and decades. In his lifetime, only one beer. If only Rudy didn't show up. Sigh.